Considering that the research and development for a new electronic device can take thousands of man-hours, you really have to wonder what kind of wacky tobacky these people were inhaling. Here are the top 25 most totally ridiculous electronic devices that absolutely nobody wants in their Christmas stocking!
#25 Weather Forecasting Umbrella
The faster the light flashes, the greater the chance of precipitation. As the fact that you have the umbrella open and your feet are wet isn’t enough of a tipoff for you.
#24 Windmill Phone Charger
Live the green life, by taking your cell phone off the grid. Set it up in a light breeze and recharge that Nokia fast. Set it up in a hurricane and power New Orleans.
#23 Sound Activated Dancing Water Fountain
Blast some Metallica and water your lawn… and your neighbors’!
#22 Cardboard Speakers
For when you draw the worst nerd in the Office Christmas Gift Pool.
#21 Shoe Phone
Maxwell Smart would love this, but at least put it into a cordless model! Can’t walk far with a phone cord!
#20 GhostRadar
Watch the light as when it glows, there’s a ghost nearby! Either that or it’s your ghoulfriend. If you’re at KFC it’s probably a poultry-geist. You might wanna skip it and have a boo-logna sandwich.
#19 MasterCard Watch
PayPass in a watch means that if you check the time next to a cash register, you get docked $500.
#18 USB Aquarium
Why bother with the mess and expense of a real aquarium when you can plug this into your laptop and take it to school, work, or even on vacation. Let’s see you do that with the 300 gallon saltwater tank.
#17 Tuttuki Bako
You stick your finger in the box and pet the LCD bird. What’s wrong with that?
#16 Penguin Tea Dunker
No more dark greasy tea, just dial the penguin’s butt to the exact time you want your tea bag steeping and he’ll take care of the rest!
#15 Sound-Proofed Microphone
Perfect for those nights when you want to Karaoke at 3 am without waking the kids!
#14 Solar Powered Vibrator
My motto’s always been,
When it’s right it’s right.
Why wait until the middle,
Of a cold dark night?
Aaaaaa…aaaaaa…aaaaaa…afternoon delight!
#13 iPod Toilet Paper Holder
If you’re so constipated that you can sit through an entire Green Day album, now you can take your favorite 40,000 tunes with you when you go!
#12 USB Fragrance Burner
If your laptop battery didn’t last long enough, use its power to burn incense! Let’s see you work the NY to LA redeye now!
#11 SensorFreshQ Food Safety Tester
For people with no noses, this device sniffs meat and poultry: A green light means it’s fresh, yellow means you’d better cook it now, and red means that not even the cat will touch it.
#10 Gun Mouse
This fully functional mouse is the perfect accessory for those long nights playing GTA.
#9 Fly Drawing Robot
Stick flies in this robot and it will draw the bugs’ flight paths. The perfect gift for your mom to celebrate her starring role on Hoarders.
#8 Food Fan
Dontcha just hate slurping hot noodles that burn your palate? Just stick this fan on your sleeve and chill out!
#7 Laser Guided Scissors
The #1 necessity for Borg tailors.
#6 Dog Translation Device
Ever wonder if Fido was trying to tell you that he’s hungry or that there’s a home invasion in progress? This handy little device translates woofs into words and even quantum equations!
#5 Battery Powered Battery Charger
Either this is perpetual motion or perpetual insanity.
#4 Boob Radio
Tell me I’m the daddy or I’ll crank it from 87.5 to 107.9 FM!
#3 Scratch & Sniff MP3 Players
Brings the phrase “Nickelback Stinks” to a whole new level.
#2 USB Butt Cooler
Use that PC to keep your tush well ventilated! No, beans don’t work as well.
#1 Ear Wax Camera
Make sure you get all that nasty ear wax out with a Q-tip Camera and Monitor. More fun than watching Donny Osmond dance.
It’s kind of surprising that there isn’t a battery powered combined Milanese risotto stirrer and crank silent movie camera turner in this list… Wait a minute… what’s the URL of the patent office… this gives me a great idea!
